So… Why Should You Let Go of Control?

by | Awareness, Energy, Life Lessons

So…why should you let go of control?

What an absolutely wonderful question.

I recently met with a client who was startled, disappointed, and even a little dismayed by what she was creating in her life. Because the material seemed to offer guidance with regards to my client’s current growth period, I was reading a chapter from Oneness, by Rasha, to her, aloud. In Chapter 6, Rasha said, “Once you transcend the automatic response patterning—the reaction of ego-centered emotion—and replace it with an automatic response of indifference to outcome, you shift to a state of being in which you are able to manifest what you would like to experience in your life.”

I could see my client’s aura shift into the energetic equivalent of a scowl when she heard, “and replace it with an automatic response of indifference to outcome,” and I asked her, “Check in with yourself to see whether your logical mind is objecting. See whether it’s asking the question, ’But if I let go of the investment to outcome, how can I be creating what I want? How can I be creating anything?’” After a pause, she admitted, “Yeah, it is, a little bit.”

“That’s understandable,” I replied. “That’s because it’s a big step out of limitation.”

So yeah, I get the puzzled looks and frowning brows out there. How can developing a deliberate stance of neutrality; of non-attachment to the outcome of a situation, be a step out of limitation, and into limitless creation? 

I won’t kid you; it’s a toughie, at first. It’s something to chew on. And to understand where I’m coming from, you have to know a little bit about the Zero Point Field. I’m not a quantum physicist, and being dyscalculiac, numbers and I have never gotten on very well. But I am moderately intelligent, and I can grasp concepts. And I was intrigued enough, when I first heard about the Zero Point Field, that I read a little bit about it. After wading my way through a few hundred pages of dense, chewy physicist-speak, I finally realized that the most distilled, intelligible version of what the Zero Point Field is, was penned by Robert Scheinfeld in his regrettably entitled book, Busting Loose From the Money Game.

As a quick aside, I feel that the title is regrettable because it suggests a slick hustler selling some kind of sleazy Ponzi scheme. In actuality, it’s an interesting, practical lesson plan in creating with energy. Even if you don’t buy the entire concept as he presents it, it’s got some intriguing lines of thought, and references the ZPF. 

This is what he had to say about quantum physicists David Bohm and Michael Talbot’s definitions of the Zero Point Field, in the chapter entitled, The White Knight Comes Riding In:

“One scientist, David Bohm, was on the forefront of the first breakthroughs in
quantum physics. Bohm concluded that the only way to explain the strange behavior
scientists were seeing with subatomic particles was that the tangible reality of our
everyday lives is an illusion. Bohm asserted that underlying what we call reality was
a deeper order of existence, a vast and more primary level of reality that gave birth
to all the objects and appearances of our physical universe. 

Michael Talbot summarized this in his book The Holographic Universe:

Put another way, there is evidence to suggest that our world and everything
in it—from snowflakes to maple trees to falling stars and spinning electrons—
are also only ghostly images, projections from a level of reality so beyond
our own it is literally beyond both space and time.

Inspired by Bohm, numerous scientists kept looking for the deeper order he
asserted was there. They ultimately found it in the form of a gigantic field of
intelligent energy that has many names but is most often called the
Zero Point Field (hereafter referred to as The Field) within the scientific community.

The Field exists as energy with infinite potential that hasn’t been formed into
anything yet. However, from that infinite potential, literally anything can be created.”

To some people, this is the definition of God, or of what they call “God-Force Energy.” To others, this is the definition of the energy of the Universe; a massive dynamic of creation and destruction so vast, and so complex, that we can barely understand it. For anyone born after July 21st of 1978, this sounds a lot like The Force. As ol’ Obi-Wan Kenobi told Luke, back on Tatooine, “The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.”

When I was a kid, I used to have otherworldly, waking dreams of rising up out of a billowing, gold-grey field that stretched in all directions. It looked like silk, to me; soft and weightless, rippling over an unseen surface; or like an unbroken field of barely discernible waves. Sometimes a woman would rise up out of the field, and beckon to me. Other times I’d just watch diffused light reflecting off of the changing surfaces. It was peaceful, but potent; almost unnervingly powerful, but oddly quiescent. Those experiences and images often came to mind as I read about the Zero Point Field. 

So if we posit a vast field of energy that can be called into the service of our individual creativity by focusing our will into it, and inserting a template; a pattern, if you will; into this maelstrom of fabrication, allowing the energy to flow into the pattern and express our desires into our physical reality, then how could “transcend[ing] the automatic response patterning—the reaction of ego-centered emotion—and replac[ing] it with an automatic response of indifference to outcome” shift you into “a state of being in which you are able to manifest what you would like to experience in your life.”

The key is in the three magic words, “ego-centered emotion.” 

As soon as the ego cries out, “I want THIS! I want THIS ONE THING!” and slaps down a pattern, you’ve very likely created THIS—whatever THIS is—but you have also just created a limitation. The “one” as opposed to the “all.” You’ve said, “I want THIS!” in a way that creates THIS, but, by definition, excludes THAT. But as soon as you create THIS, most folks automatically begin to yearn for THAT—and the next THAT after that, and the THAT after that, too—and on it goes, all while clinging to the THIS in a way that locks fear of loss into the equation, since THIS seems “real” and THAT has not yet been manifest. And suddenly, you’re in a puddle of limitation and unfulfilled desires, wondering how this “creating with energy” idea could fail so badly. 

Neutrality—non-attachment to outcome—seems to be another way of saying, “Why fuss? Know that your higher self (or your expanded self, or however you embrace the concept) is creating what you really want. What you need.” Don’t just have faith in the process—know it! Access your 7th Chakra psychic skill of Knowingness, and put the game in perspective from certainty

For most of us, our egos call the shots. Why do we allow that? While valuable, and certainly necessary, the ego is very small, and its purpose is very limited. I’ve defined the ego’s role as being the lens through which you, as Spirit, focus into physical reality. The ego helps you perceive this game we play in, on this planet, as “real,” and helps you find meaning in existing in this reality. (Otherwise, you’d likely leave the game at the first sign of distress.) It helps you see value in creating, honing, and maintaining, your unique identity. 

The Expanded Self, by contrast, is very large, and has a much better perspective of the entire game board, it’s massive potential, and its very few limitations. When you can stop your ego from driving the bus, you step out of small thinking, and into Infinite creativity. 

Take a few deep breaths, here, and notice whether your ego wants to argue about that idea. Most egos will. Take a minute to reassure your ego that it’s going to get what it wants. But ask it; is it truly satisfied with what it wants? Or does it really want what it needs?

Discussing this concept with my client, I recalled an incident I witnessed decades ago, back when Toys-R-Us was still crack heaven for 5-year-olds. There was a mom, walking with her little boy, and the two of them were approaching the search for a Halloween costume from two entirely different perspectives. 

The kid was maybe three or four. He wanted a superhero costume—one, very specific superhero costume—and the anxiety was just pouring off of him in waves. He was so afraid that he wouldn’t be able to find what he wanted, that he was running up and down the aisle, his expression pinched, saying, “I want this!” and “I want this!” and picking up bits and pieces of things that were kind of like the costume he said he wanted—a mask here, a weapon there—and hauling them all with him as he searched the displays. They weren’t what he really wanted, but he was so afraid that he wouldn’t be able to find exactly the right thing, that he was getting frustrated and angry with his mother for not immediately putting all of his newfound treasures in the cart. He was bewildered that she wasn’t buying into the terrified mindset of limitation that grudgingly accepts “good enough,” when “exactly right” isn’t immediately forthcoming. He was investing a tremendous amount of emotional energy into fear; his anxiety levels were so high that he seemed to be about thirty seconds from a meltdown.

Mom, meanwhile, had moved along the aisles, referencing a picture in her hand. It looked like it had been cut from a newspaper ad, or something. She glanced back at her son a few times, trying to be reassuring, saying, “Hang on, honey, I know they have it; I called ahead. Just wait a second and let me see if I can find it.” And, sure enough, after a few minutes, she came to a rack with costumes on hangars and gave a little sound of delight. Pushing a few other costumes aside, she pulled down a complete, authentic costume set, straight from the franchise—boots, cape, shield, mask, helmet, weapons, and all—comparing it to the picture, then turning to him with a smile to say, “It’s this one, right?”

He turned, and his jaw dropped open. The the tears that glistening in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks were tears of relief. The shift in his energy was so palpable that even I felt exhilarated on his behalf. Shopping for half-measures forgotten, he dropped everything he was holding and ran to his mom, arms outstretched, crying, “Oh, yes, mom—oh, yes! That’s it!” as he examined the coveted costume with shining eyes.

Viewed from my current perspective, I could see that the kid represents the ego. The kid doesn’t get it. He’s too young; he’s entirely at the mercy of ego-centered emotion. He’s too inexperienced to understand that there are larger forces at work. That he’s in the candy store of creativity, and that he can get exactly what he’s looking for. That there’s no need to grasp at anything less, unless he wants to fill his cart with stuff that’s close to, but not really, what he wants, fearing disappointment and working himself into a tizzy. Ego doesn’t necessarily understand that it can relax and trust that Mom has GOT this.

Mom represents the higher self. She was the adult, in the interaction. She was the one who was looking at the big picture, researching the trip and even calling ahead so that he wouldn’t be disappointed. And, noticing that I’d been watching the adventure as it had unfolded, she’d shrugged and grinned as she helped him pick up and restock all of the things that he’d dropped. “He really likes this cartoon,” she said. I just smiled and nodded, understanding completely, and happy for them both.

“Once you transcend the automatic response patterning—” Rasha tells us, “the reaction of ego-centered emotion—and replace it with an automatic response of indifference to outcome, you shift to a state of being in which you are able to manifest what you would like to experience in your life.”

Encourage your ego to relinquish control. Train it to understand—to know—that your expanded consciousness has got your back. And even in the face of what seems like disappointment, embrace neutrality, and have certainty—not faith, but certainty—that your needs will be met. Don’t work yourself up into a tizzy. The picture is bigger than you know, the resources, infinite—and your Higher Self has GOT this.