In this fascinating era of self-absorption, self-promotion—where your name and “look” are now being put forth as your “Brand,” as though you were a product and not a person; in this time of widespread social media coverage of the trivial, commonplace, and staged, blown all out of proportion so that folks can clutch at their fifteen minutes of “viral” fame; and of the endless, unrealistic promises of instant gratification we’re force-fed from the businesses around us (most of whom strive to sow seeds of discontent into our psyches so that we’ll be unhappy enough to buy their “life-changing” products), it’s not easy coming up with the perfect name for a wellness center that encourages you to slow down, be grounded, prioritize your own needs, be aware of your habits and motivations, clear crap out of your space, and be mindfully honest with yourself and with others. Every descriptive and mildly clever name, like, “The Self Center” (because, obviously, we teach you to be Centered within your Self) is taken. Vanilla names like, “The Center” have been used a gajillion times, and a search on “Lake County Wellness” gave me a whopping 84,500,000 hits. Facilities named from the crazy-quilt jumble of the words, “Love,” “Light,” “Joy,” and “Hope” are scattered across the globe like dandelions in a springtime meadow.
[Board members note: “Honest to God, folks—she really does talk like this.”]
They’re all lovely names…but they don’t describe us. Even in an arena as unconventional as the metaphysical/wellness field, we’re just not like most other people. Some folks have called us “refreshing.” Others have said, “playful” and “real.” But on the flip side, a woman once attempted to insult me by saying that I was “unsympathetic” to her current life situation. An hour later, after I’d explained to her (in some detail) why we view “sympathy” as an unpleasantly parasitic vibration of invalidation that actually disempowers an individual, she began to understand that I’d taken her scolding as something of a compliment. And I’m happy to report that she walked away looking at her habitual, ingrained “victim” patterns from a more empowered perspective.
We’re honest and open and friendly, and we care a great deal about helping others learn to own their space and find comfort in their skin, but, for the most part, we don’t do the mindless, “warm and fuzzy” thing. We don’t make unlikely promises of magic mantras or one-session transmutations. (Abrupt shifts do happen, but when they do, it’s because you brought with you an intention to slip free of your chrysalis. We may facilitate the process, but we will reflect back to you that you did the work.)
We’re ridiculously practical; if a clearing or grounding technique can’t be used with your eyes wide open on a street corner, we don’t teach it. We don’t end every sentence with “Blessed Be,” or “Goddess Bless.” Don’t get me wrong—those are perfectly lovely sentiments—but it’s just not us. In a wide ocean of spiritual possibility, we’re more like a boatload of boisterous pirates, patterned toward the Jack Sparrow end of the spectrum. We’re cheerfully imperfect. We’ve been known to use vulgar words in the middle of meditation class if it breaks loose an energy and makes folks laugh. We make up horrible puns (is there any other kind?) and yeah, sometimes we tell rude jokes.
We don’t tolerate sacred cows. We will never argue in favor of limitation. We seek ease. We embrace disillusionment. We take ourselves lightly. And in that space of light-hearted devotion and creativity, we work with focused passion on having sweet, clear communication with the Supreme Being, as we each see the Divine, with every breath. And we bring that desire for clear spiritual communication to everything that we teach, and to how we facilitate a space of healing, both for ourselves and for others. We don’t believe in a “right” way or a “wrong” way—we don’t believe in spiritual competition of any sort; we find that kind of superior posturing ludicrous—we believe that the events in life are given to us to experience, and we grow from integrating the lessons to be learned from those experiences. No “good” or “bad,” just “learning” and “growth.”
But what spurred the discussion into our group’s choosing its current moniker was when the discussion ranged on to the touchy, ego-ground of individual credentials and social status, and of how most people are taught in “proper” marketing strategies to present a “dignified” face to the world at large if they want to be taken “seriously.” (Look it up; Oxford English Dictionary defines “dignified” as “adjective; having or showing a composed or serious manner that is worthy of respect.” They don’t have to do anything of value to be respected–they just have to look the part.) Someone said something like, “Do we want people to think that we take our work seriously, or do we want them to think we’re just a bunch of woo-woo bliss-ninnies?”
I was on the verge of noting that the two things aren’t mutually exclusive, when one participant in the discussion said, with wry wit, “Well, obviously, you need to call it the BlissNinny AiryFairy WooWoo Wellness Center (featuring pseudo-science, alternate history, and occult posturing).”
The delivery was priceless—totally straight faced and bone-dry—and I absolutely HOWLED with laughter! It was PERFECT! It was the funniest, most self-deprecating perspective I‘d ever heard of the work we do, owning the underlying humor in being in a vocation where “Talks to dead people” is a line-item on your resume. A profession where a student who had just learned a clearing technique had asked, “Where in the world did you learn to do this???” and I’d responded with perfect honesty, “God taught me.” It’s a mother WONDERFUL name! It’s SILLY! And it was the perfect marketing tool, too, because those folks who need to take their healing “seriously” aren’t folks who are likely to match the amused vibration of healing that we set. In my mind, from that moment on, the center became The BlissNinny AiryFairy WooWoo Wellness Center.
The comedian who’d suggested the name was shocked, saying, with wide eyes, “No—no—I was joking!”
And it was a joke, but c’est magnifique! What a magnificent jest! Because, y’see, in my mind there has always been a huge distinction between taking someone seriously and respecting them. If you take someone seriously, you’ll often reflexively give up space to them and put their idea or perspective ahead of your own. If you take pain or fear seriously, it will own you. But if you see someone as a Child of the Divine in their own right, then respecting their life choices is easy, because those choices are theirs—and God’s—to resolve. I like being respected…and I like respecting others, but I’ll never pretend to be unnaturally serious or “dignified” to earn anyone’s approval—and I’ll never ask you to put on airs, either. Because the tools and techniques I teach are to help you pluck out old energy and clear old programs in order to become more and more totally yourself. And what better way to start the relationship off on a playful foot than to find yourself grinning the minute you pick up the phone and hear, “BlissNinny!”
So that’s how I came to be a BlissNinny. I released other people’s expectations for me and allowed myself the joyful gift of being myself. Yeah, it takes time. It takes focus and daily practice. But over the years, I’ve held the space for other like-minded BlissNinnies and Ne’er-Do-Wells to join me on the journey. It’s not a journey for everyone, but who knows? There may be a space of playful learning waiting here for you, too.